a complicated affair

It’s taken me weeks to process our last Badass Mama’s circle theme: partnering. Whoosh, hearing information from Jenni about three relationship experts grounded me in theory, but thinking about my own relationship with my husband leaves my head spinning. How do you talk about marriage when significant other relationships are such personal topics of discussion? How do you begin to say something profound when you know 50 percent of marriages end in divorce?

a primer on anger

My study of anger began when my daughter was small. Her expression of anger challenged me, and my own troubled me. I needed an easier relationship with anger to better serve us both.

The most useful of my learning about anger has come from the developmental psychologist Dr Gordon Neufeld's work on aggression.  What follows is a summary of what I've learned from him about anger.

the knot of rage

This feels so raw and so unexplainable. But there’s such a power in letting go of the good girl that accepts more than her share of blame for everything that’s gone wrong. Usually, Jenni said, she asks people to accept responsibility, to consider, “What’s your part? What is yours to own?” The good girl, though, accepts more than what’s hers. Rage is kept at bay, and beneath that, hurt and loss and grief. She invited us to take off the mantle of blame and let rage have a voice.