When mothering isn’t going the way we want it to, we need a safe, soft place for our mothering hearts to land, too. Where can we take these hearts and minds that need cushions and shared conversation to figure out this parenting puzzle?
Parenting can fill you up, but wow can it take you down. There are days when everything feels hard and you're so worn out and irritable and you're trying to hold it together but you keep snapping and maybe you yell and for a moment you recognize just how much anger you're carrying around inside and how often it's leaking or even bursting out of you onto your kids and you know it has to stop. You have to stop. You're not abusive, but you can be hurtful. And you're done, you're really done, but how do you change?
Jenni led a discussion about community that lasted for our entire time together. We feel comfortable enough together that we went over our allotted time easily, talking for more than two hours before we noticed the clock. Jenni talked about how our struggles aren’t personal failures. So instead of asking “What’s wrong with me?” and trying to fix ourselves, we can ask “Where do I need support?” So often when we are struggling, we think we are inherently broken, but maybe we just need help.
Hours before I was due at the Badass Mamas group, I toyed with the idea of just dropping out. I knew we were going to work on the exercise from the book “Immunity to Change: How to Overcome it and Unlock Potential in Yourself and Your Organization.” My brain kept telling me that I am actually immune to change. Joining a support group to try to move what feels like immovable problems was a really nice idea. But, come on, I’d been struggling with this exercise for weeks and felt like I was getting nowhere. I couldn’t really figure out why I was stuck. If I casually dropped out, I could avoid really looking at some truth that felt not so great.