I didn’t know how much it would help to have real support in my life. Now that the Badass Mamas closing retreat is in my rearview mirror, that’s the sentence that sums up the circle's nine months. I didn’t know how much it would help to become part of Badass Mamas.
It’s taken me weeks to process our last Badass Mama’s circle theme: partnering. Whoosh, hearing information from Jenni about three relationship experts grounded me in theory, but thinking about my own relationship with my husband leaves my head spinning. How do you talk about marriage when significant other relationships are such personal topics of discussion? How do you begin to say something profound when you know 50 percent of marriages end in divorce?
This feels so raw and so unexplainable. But there’s such a power in letting go of the good girl that accepts more than her share of blame for everything that’s gone wrong. Usually, Jenni said, she asks people to accept responsibility, to consider, “What’s your part? What is yours to own?” The good girl, though, accepts more than what’s hers. Rage is kept at bay, and beneath that, hurt and loss and grief. She invited us to take off the mantle of blame and let rage have a voice.
I’m so familiar with the idea that play is the work of childhood. But what about adults? How come no one ever asks us to play? Have you felt that twisting ache inside your heart as you arrange play dates for your child, the ache that say, ‘I want a play date, too.”
Oh, I want a play date, too.
Perhaps Jenni heard my plea and answered with a recent Badass Mama's circle about play. And not play as a task, another to-do to add to a list. Jenni strove to take striving out of our playing.